charlie chortle loves cheese

here's my new movie, called "charlie chortle loves international cheese day" starring yours truly. it seems that my czechoslovakian connection wanted to do a special on cheese, so that's where i've been...in czechoslovakia, filming my latest epic, a cheese docu-drama. if you want, copy/paste this link and watch it in glorious hi-def:

 

guess what..charlie's off again to prague

it seems that i violated my czechoslovakian children's television contract. hell, i gave up children's television years ago. how dare they try to get another piece of me. evidently they got wind of my huge breakthrough into film with my "shanghai shenanigans". it must have been in the slavic version of the hollywood reporter or something. well don't you worry ms. brataslava 1972. (aka my czechoslovakian producer) i have the greasiest, sleaziest, most vile and corrupt, pig nosed, hog breathed lawyer on earth, and you're going down! she did add that they would drop the case if i were to come back to czechoslovakia and do a few 3-5 minute comedic educational interstitials for the children. i know her few - by the time we're done, i'll have done 422 bits and i told her i lost my slavic vocabulary. and she said "we're all learning english now and that's why we want you back" and i said "you know i went back to school for animal husbandry and i'm a writer now and i'm trying to get work doing scientific writing", and she's all over me saying things like "you'll never be a writer, and everyone knows you're an action hero now and the children reeeeeeealy need you" and so on and so forth. so i replied "like, why the freaking law suit" and she said "i'm a producer, i do what i have to do, to get the job done". and i said "make me executive producer and i'm only doing 25 interstitials!" and she said "okay". so i'm off to prague. i do kind of miss it. see you later usa - i'm leaving on yet another journey! perhaps sharlene would like to join me. that would certainly bend ms. bratislava right out of shape. i'll expense her plane ticket and our hotel room because i'm executive producer now. excuse me while i call the ever delightful, sharlene shontelle, my co-star in "shanghai shenanigans", soon to be released worldwide on epiglotis pictures.

charlie chortle returns from shanghai

hello all my fans and friends. sorry i've been away so long, but after i was whisked away by who i thought was my literary agent, i ended up in shanghai filming one of the most incredible spy thriller comedies, ever produced, starring yours truly. bet you never thought i had it in me to be an action hero, but once the film is out, you'll see. it's in my contract not to discuss it until it's european release, so i'm sworn to secrecy, but believe me - it is outrageous fun!! so now that i have money, i can sit back and chill a while. i can get back to writing about my favorite topics...the sex life of pre pubescent antarctic penguins or the effects of nuclear disasters on planarian worms or why people eat gravel. the world is my oyster and i am about to bread it and deep fry it, or maybe i'll just eat it raw! that's it - i'll eat this world raw because there's a lot of it and i would need a pretty large deep fryer to cook it.... hold on a second, my cell phone is ringing.

listen, i gotta go - it's that czechoslovakian producer. i don't know what she wants, but it better be good.....later!