charlie chortle returns from shanghai

hello all my fans and friends. sorry i've been away so long, but after i was whisked away by who i thought was my literary agent, i ended up in shanghai filming one of the most incredible spy thriller comedies, ever produced, starring yours truly. bet you never thought i had it in me to be an action hero, but once the film is out, you'll see. it's in my contract not to discuss it until it's european release, so i'm sworn to secrecy, but believe me - it is outrageous fun!! so now that i have money, i can sit back and chill a while. i can get back to writing about my favorite topics...the sex life of pre pubescent antarctic penguins or the effects of nuclear disasters on planarian worms or why people eat gravel. the world is my oyster and i am about to bread it and deep fry it, or maybe i'll just eat it raw! that's it - i'll eat this world raw because there's a lot of it and i would need a pretty large deep fryer to cook it.... hold on a second, my cell phone is ringing.

listen, i gotta go - it's that czechoslovakian producer. i don't know what she wants, but it better be good.....later!